Riley’s Declassified TFIOS Survival Guide

So you survived The Fault in Our Stars’ opening weekend! Congratulations; this is surely a feat not to be taken lightly! Though, knowing the amount of awesomeness (and sadness) you felt in regards to this movie, you’ll be back for Round 2 (or 3, 4, 5… etc.). I’m here to help!

If you live under a rock, let me catch you up. John Green’s fantastic book The Fault in Our Stars was adapted into movie form by Josh Boone and released this past Friday, June 6th. I’m sure most of you have already seen it once, twice, thrice, but odds are you’re going to see it again. I, personally, only went to see it last Thursday, but I will be going again later this week (hopefully with a review to follow!). After seeing it the first time totally unprepared, I threw together a survival guide to get you through the tears and emotional heartache that is this wondrous film.

Tip 1: Bring a box of tissues. Or several.

Even though I didn’t cry the first time because I was too busy rolling my eyes at sniffling preteens, I am completely and utterly prepared to bawl my eyes out appropriately this coming Thursday. I will be bringing my best friend and my sister along with me, the former not having read the book and the latter not having seen the movie yet. There will be tears a plenty and a box of tissues will be necessary. Those travel packs will NOT be enough. Don’t kid yourself. You aren’t that strong.

Tip 2: Bring a hand to hold or a body to hug. Trust me, you’ll need it.

When I went on last Thursday, I had neither of these things. I felt like it was only me and the movie and that was scary. Though, to be fair, if I did hold someone’s hand, I may have broken their bones. The whole row in front of me was a group of friends who all hugged each other and cried. In theory that’s a great idea, but I don’t have nearly that many friends. So on Thursday I will have two people to squeeze and my leisure. Lord knows I’ll need it. If you don’t have anyone to hug or hold (I’m sorry), buy a large drink. It serves the same purpose AND it provides ample hydration! Double yes!

Tip 3: Buy popcorn so you can stuff your face after or while you cry. FOOD SOLVES EVERYTHING.

Definitely do this! If you don’t like popcorn, buy any other food that suits your fancy! As long as you have something edible to stuff your face with after you cry the first time (and trust me there will be many more of these moments), you will be good to go. Plus, the fact that your mouth will be full of junk food will buffer the loud noises of your sobs. Win!

Tip 4: Mentally prepare yourself for the attractiveness of the cast. The quicker you accept this, the quicker you will enjoy the movie for what it is.

I am definitely not the first to admit that Ansel Elgort is one of the cutest people on this planet. Nor am I the first to fawn over Shailene Woodley and her perfection. I am still not the first person to say that Nat Wolff has grown up so much from his days in the Naked Brothers Band and still looks just as attractive if not more so than he did back then! All of that aside, the cast is ungodly attractive. Maybe that’s a bit weird for a movie about cancer, but it’s easy to cast aside once you pay attention to the story. Before you go see the movie, look at as many photos as you want of Elgort, Woodley, Wolff, and whomever else so that you get accustomed to their faces. Know their attractiveness. That way, you won’t be fawning over any of them during the most important parts of the film (except maybe the stare-down in the first half hour; definitely fawn then).

Tip 5: Don’t hesitate to talk about the movie at length afterwards. Like Augustus said when he quoted An Imperial Affliction: “That’s the thing about pain; it demands to be felt.”

The last and final tip is probably something you would have down without my help. If you’re seeing the movie with a bunch of people, don’t just sit in sad silence on the way home! Talk about it! The emotions need to be released! If you cry again, that’s okay (see what I did there?)! The movie is so fantastic and true to the book that it deserves to be talked about for longer than its run in theaters. What was the funniest part? Were the irreverent jokes still funny despite the context? How did everyone do in their roles? The little romance that could is so much bigger than just a movie adaptation. It’s a little infinity of its own!

Tip 6: Go home and hug a pillow. It’ll be okay. Okay?

There’s no expansion on this tip; take it for what it is. Appreciate the reference. Cry some more.

Now that you’ve read through the tips and tricks of getting through the TFIOS movie, go see it! Multiple times! See it with your brother, your mother, your sister, your father, your best friend! But, once you do see it, make sure to report back here and tell me what you think.

Until next time, DFTBA!

-Riley

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